In the last 2 league fixtures the weather gods played an important role in helping Paisley to secure victories, this week was no different, however the hurricane was metaphorical rather than meteorological, as whirlwind South african centre, Rusty, devasted Clydesdale scoring an astonishing 8 of Paisley's 12 tries in a 79-0 hammering of the Lanarkshire men.

On the day when Paisley RFC received it's new strips courtesy of major sponsor David Cuthill of Kilty Kilty in Paisley, the 1st XV back line finally clicked into gear and matched the efforts that the forwards have been putting in since the start of season. Perhaps it was the confidence of a 100% record in the league this season, perhaps it was the new strips, but much more likely it was the presence of 2 of Kilty Kilty's leggy lovelies that drew the best out of the poseurs in the back line. Whatever it was, let's have more of it, as the spirits at Anchor are soaring these days.

Paisley started the game at full speed against a Clydesdale XV which consisted of a formidable looking pack and sporting and exotic set of tattooed twins, who would have not seemed out of place in Patpong. Receiving the kick off, the Paisley forwards immediately piled into their opposite numbers and with the usual powerful running of David Dodds and Neil Ritchie, were quickly punching holes in the Clydesdale defence. Seeing the Clydesdale back row tied up in a Ruck, Rusty took a flat pass from Fraser Ross, who had an excellent game at half-back, and steamed into space sidestepping the full back to score
under the post with less than a minute played. Normally Paisley go to sleep immediately after scoring so easily, but this team have evolved somewhat since those dark days, and it was a full 2 minutes after the restart before they dozed off allowing Clydesdale to turn desperate defence into an attacking opportunity.

Fine defence from David Dodds and the forwards prevented a Clydedale score, but Paisley failed to clear their lines adequately and spent the next 10 minutes in defence. At this point, the crowd were fearing another same old Paisley performance, letting the opposition of the hook and struggling to find the cohesion required in this demanding team sport, as the game was dragged into something of a scrap which suited the less well organised Clydesdale.

Sadly, Clydesdale took this too far as one of the most extraordinary scenes this reporter has witnessed, unfolded in full view of the referee. With tattooed ladyboy number one objecting to being bundled into touch, the usual handbags at dawn performance from the wingers seemed to be kicking off until the arrival of his angry ugly-sister, whose outrageous kick to the head of the prone Mark Alexander was as malicious as it was cowardly. Never mind being a red card offence, this was as nasty a piece of assault as one could contrive and should have resulted in a visit to Mill Street. Incredibly, the referee, whose performance could at best be described as eccentric, decided that it merited nothing more than a warning, explaining afterwards that he felt he wasn't sure how the incident had started.

The anger within the Paisley camp was palpable, and from the resulting penalty, Paisley drove powerfully up the park eventually winning a penalty in the Clydesdale 22 which Gordon Powrie, who kicked imperiously all afternoon, converted for a 10-0 lead. Soon, after Clydedale were justificably reduced to 14 men as their back row entered yet another ruck from the side. Strange that the referee should find his cards for a technical offence but not the earlier ugly assault. Nevertheless, with the Paisley pack now punching holes in Clydesdale's reduced defence, man of the match Rusty completed a fine first half hat-trick, but the sweetest try of the game was scored by Mark Alexander, who drifted onto a well timed pass from Powrie and sped to the line, for his well justified retribution.

The second half turned into a procession of Paisley tries as Clydesdale's defence was reduced to a series of flailing arms and unsavoury squawking, with the Clydesdale half-back recieving their second yellow card of the game for a shoulder charge into the back of his unsighted opposite number. With Paisley running rampant, the seemingly omnipresent Rusty popped up to finish 5 more tries in the second half, taking him straight to the top of the Paisley scoring charts. David Dodd scored 2 more tries and Neil Ritchie added another to complete the rout.

On pitch 2, the Paisley 2nd XV were on the wrong end of a heavy defeat to GHK 2nd XV, who had filled in at short notice after Carrick had been unable to fulfill their league fixture commitment. It was a commendable effort from the Paisley boys up against a much more experienced and physically imposing side. Heart can be drawn from the manner in which the 2nd XV forwards fronted up to their illustrious opponents, but the immaturity in the 2nd XV back line is a real weakness which requires urgent attention.

Paisley Rugby Club would like to thank their ball sponsors for the day, Musclebound and Forgotten Dreams.