Getting There
The Paisley Tour of South Wales was originally planned to be just that, but to affiliations of Tony Bale with Bristol Harlequins we decided to play a game in Wales and a game in Bristol. The Tour got off to an unusually quiet start due to the drinks ban imposed by the coach (this proved to be the best decision made on the weekend). Dave McLennan needed a wakeup phone call but still managed to arrive at the airport before the rest of us had booked in (The ski suit looked lovely!).

We arrived at Cwmbran without hitch and booked into the hotel before the Cwmbran Coach arrived to take us to the ground. The coach was a vintage AEC, when we got on the radio was playing classic '60's hits and we all thought we had accidentally fallen into TV's Heartbeat, to a man we all wanted one for Paisley. We had a quick run out prior to the game and before we knew what was happening it was time for the kick off.

Cymbran RFC, Saturday 26th of July 2003
We were starting with an inexperienced front row and I don’t think that anything could have prepared them for the baptism of fire they were about to undergo.

From the kick off Dave Dodd took a flying leap for the ball, but it wasn’t secured and within the first 10 minutes we were 3 tries and 15 points down. The Paisley guys then knuckled down and responded admirably to the pressure of a stronger and more experienced team. Towards the latter period of the first half Paisley won a scrappy ball on the left wing and Fraser Reekie scored a well deserved try which was converted by Gav “The Wank” Newlands.

Paisley had a period of 10 to 15 minutes in the Cwmbran 22 which unfortunately could not be converted into points. In the last minute of the first half Cwmbran won a 5m scrum and following a good scrimmage, a No 8 pick up led to a converted try. 22 – 7 sounds a lot worse than 15 – 7, but most of the Paisley team were looking battle shocked.

Cwmbran made some half time substitutions which helped the Paisley cause a little but the battered and bruised tourists stuck to the task. There were another 3 Cwmbran tries in the second half, and several players had to come off with injuries. Notably Haggis Kennedy who had a cracking game for his first competitive game in the front row against a prop and hooker who gave him a painful lesson in scrimmaging. David Dodd was unanimously voted Man of the Match for his exceptional aggression, support and driving play.

The decision after the game was that it had been hard but no less than expected by the coach, if we hadn’t won the first or second half we could at least win the third half.

Cwmbran and Newport, Saturday Night
After the match Cwmbran showed themselves to be excellent hosts and after numerous jugs of beer, a huge buffet that was demolished by the tight 5 and the customary game of Bitch for the Paisley boys, we made our way back to the hotel and partied into the night.

Some of the boys went into Newport.  The fine establishments of the town played host to us.  Some of the lads went to Chicago Rocks where Fraser Reekie made himself known to the security and was "asked" to leave.  Some went to Yates (after Calum decided to wear trainers out) where Colin May was a centre of attraction in his kilt.  Despite the phrase "Flies Round Shit" coming to mind the diminutive winger failed to close the deal with some nice Valley girls as Chris Lyall tried not to look like a kid on Christmas morning.  The rest of us who stayed a bit more local were invited into a wedding reception at the Hotel and partied the night away, Tony Bale making a point of partying the whole night away and was still drinking when the Yates party got to bed after 4am.

South Wales 2003

The Morning After
Sunday was again a slow start with a few surprised faces when they heard that there was a training session at 9:30am. Gavin pretended to have to pay the hotel and Chins showed undue haste in volunteering to go to the local laundrette to get the strips washed.  For those of us who made it to the park a slow stretch and jog was all that was required before we had to get sorted for the trip to Bristol.

The trip to Bristol went without hitch. Except that Nellie was upset to find he would not get his passport stamped when he crossed the bridge.  It turned out that we couldn’t get into our rooms until 2pm by which time we were supposed to be at the club so we put off registration and moved to the ground.

Once at the ground we learned who our referee was going to be.  Now, we knew Paisley's reputation had preceded us, but for the Quins to assign us their top club referee was a bit much.  His name was Ed and we think he may have taken charge of a World Cup final or two.

As Gavin has a reputation for shouting at referees and questioning their capability to do their job Ron suggested that someone should be standing by with the camera to capture the first time Gav goes toe-to-toe with Ed Morrison.  Most agreed, but some suggested staging a couple of shots of Gavin finger pointing just to make sure the picture turned out alright.

There was a feeling of “what the hell are we doing here?” throughout the squad, but there was a game of rugby to be played and after a pre match glass of port for all the players of both sides supplied by Malcolm Dodd we were off again.

Bristol Harlequins, Sunday 27th of July 2003
From the kick off Paisley tied in the ball catcher and drove up the pitch a good 25m. The game then was a to and fro affair until the home side scored first with a kick that rebounded off the upright and was snapped up. The conversion was missed. Paisley then started to move the ball about and after several scissor moves Fraser Reekie was given the ball and after coming to the realisation that there was nobody actually in front of him he started the run from his own 22m beating the defence he scored a cracking try.  It was a good job that he was able to score the try on his own as he reduced his support runners to stitches when they heard a high pitched squeak and "Ohh, I'm Away" when he realised that the midfield opened up in front of him.  Gav duly converted.

Shortly after Fraser made another break to give Ally McKechnie the final pass to score a second try which was again converted. Fraser again made a break but on this occasion was tackled before the line but still had the presence of mind to turn and pop the ball to Gavin who uncharacteristically was in close support. Gavin then had a simple run in for the try which he failed to convert.

The half time score then was 19-5 and Paisley naively thought we had a chance of winning the game.  Bristol Harlequins had other ideas and 10 subs came on and produced rugby to which the tourists had no answer with 6 unanswered tries.  Dave Dodds was bounced off his feet from a hand off by the Bristol centre which caused a few laughs and a bit of a piss take, but even Dave was laughing at getting caught such a cracker. 

Man of the Match was Fraser Reekie by a unanimous decision his tackling, running with the ball in hand and his vision in looking for support made him the star of the game. Dave McLennan also had an outstanding game at full back but Fraser sneaked it.

After the Match
The final result was not the important aspect of this good natured fast and physical game.  Again Bristol Harlequins were exceptional hosts and the bastards even beat us in the boat race. Cider supplied for the visitors was difficult to force down quickly, but there were no complaints.  Colin May failed to finish his pint and therefore had a pint of Guinness through a straw!

The evening then continued in Bristol Town Centre with some of the tourists not bothering with bed! Everybody got home in one piece via Bristol airport and the consensus from all those that went is where are we going next? There are definitely a lot of sore heads but we can all live with that it was a physically demanding weekend which will be remembered for a long time. We now have something to build on for the coming season.